THE AMITY ABORTION

Written by: Ed Howson
Published: 24 Jun 2017 - 04:47 AM

Summary

'Can't feel my face' cover is as bland as a beige wall in direct sunlight.

THE AMITY ABORTION

For quite some time now, The Amity Affliction has been plummeting faster than a Syrian fighter-jet towards the land where music is as soft as Kleenex toilet paper. I fear they have finally hit the cushiony bottom with their latest release, a cover of ‘Can’t Feel My Face’. I don’t even know how it’s possible, but it’s more pop than the original. At least The Weekend version of the song makes you want to dance, this just makes me want to erase my memory with buck-shot. At least the film clip is fitting, because the song makes people want to jump around about as much as a slow-moving zombie. 

If you were to compare it to the Our Last Night version, you would see that the drums, bass and guitar are as bland as a beige wall in direct sunlight, and about as enjoyable to listen to as your parents fucking. Our Last Night was able to sing clean vocals, and make the song heavy at the same time, putting their own musical spin on the song. TAA did nothing of the sort, creating a song that even the Back Street Boys would scoff at. 

Even by Punk Goes Pop standards, this is weak. It’s Pop Goes Pop with real instruments. I’m sure even deaf people are signing ‘eat a dick’ to people who are stuck listening to it on the radio. 

TAA, you’ve changed, and that’s cool and all, just don’t associate yourself with metal or hardcore ever again, because you just simply are not any more. Maybe you should do a split EP with Paramore. Maybe not though... Hayley Williams can actually sing without autotune.  

In closing, this song is offensive to everyone with eardrums, and I would rather be junk punched by Mike Tyson than have to hear it again.